I started coming to Reigning Grace Ranch (RGR) when I was 13 years old. My two little sisters and I were some of the first girls to go through the program. We came here because NOTHING else had worked for us and our therapist didn’t know what else to recommend. Since I was nine I had been through every type of therapy under the sun and nothing was working, mainly because I didn’t want someone who didn’t know me and didn’t understand what I had gone through, try and fix me. I wanted to be the victim, I wanted to be broken and I wanted to continue to build a fortress wall around myself and not let anyone in. At the time when I started coming to RGR, I was struggling with PTSD, depression and anxiety, all at 13. I had been through more at 13 then most go through by 30. I was hurt… lost… and disconnected. I was on my second adopted family, and before that, I had been through 7 foster families within a year. I was neglected, forgotten, abused, and thrown aside like a piece of garbage, all by the people who were supposed to love and support me no matter how “broken” I was. If my biological family didn’t love me or want me, none of my foster families did, my aunt didn’t and my adopted family didn’t… then whoever would? Why was I not good enough? Why was I not loveable?
Then, I stepped out of the truck onto the dirt ground at the ranch and immediately, I felt the healing energy run through my feet and up to my heart. I knew I was home and this was where I belonged. Amanda Moore was my mentor and I felt like I had known her my whole life; I was so comfortable with her and she was easy to talk to. She didn’t try to fix my problems, instead, she helped me armor up and realize that I didn’t have to go through this pain alone. God was always by my side and if I just leaned into Him and asked Him for help, He would always come running to my aide. Despite all the hurt, pain, and unworthiness I was feeling, I was healed, protected and loved by the most amazing and loving Father I could ever ask for. Amanda and my horse counselor helped me realize that even if I disconnected and tried to act like nothing had happened and continue to push its way down deep, it would find its way to the surface. The only way out of the battle was to get through it…….
Fast forward 10 years. I am now an Intern here at RGR. I won’t say that after going through the program I didn’t have struggles and hardships in my life, because I definitely did. I just had the strength and wisdom that only God could provide to get me through. I had a few years where I was trying so hard to do the right thing (at least what I thought was the right thing) but instead, I was on the fast track down a dark path that I knew only ended one way. God had bigger plans for me and he pulled me out of that place I was spinning my wheels in and brought me back to where I belonged faster than you could say “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious”! Reigning Grace Ranch saved me from the darkness not once, but twice. And now I get to repay the gift by giving back to the kids that show up at this ranch the same way I did 10 years ago. I am incredibly blessed that God moved in my life and despite everything that I went through I found a way out. I found light, truth, and love. I have found my purpose and my family.